Processing Fears When They Rear Their Ugly Heads
The gravity of the situation, the weight, the seriousness, it just never really hit me. I did what I had to do. I pushed through and tried to keep a level head and focus on the One who isn't me. We are weak but He is strong ... I believed that everything I was facing or about to face would all be worth it. It'd turn out okay. Everything happened so quickly that it just sort of... happened to me. Little did I notice that anything I ever liked about myself or prided myself in was ripped away one by one. My body, my strength, my clarity of thought, my husband's attraction to me, my security. There was something worse though. I had lost a piece of my trust in my Father. For me, these emotions of distrust are unwise, weak, and deserve to be thrown into the deep dark dungeon of denial hidden someplace so secret within me that I don't even know where it is or who holds the key. I guess I always thought becoming a mother would be so effortless and empowering. Dreaming of mot...
